Why I May Be Late

Last week we had to have tires replaced on the Expedition. This week the transfer case on the Explorer is jacked up. Both of these things are not nearly as frustrating as trying to get my kids out the door to go pick up Tim to take him to work.

THIS is why I am often late. (And why it takes me at least 20 minutes to leave the house. So yeah, this is going to be long.)

Me: Okay! Time to go pick up daddy!

Brenden: NOOOOO!!! I wanna watch Scooby Dooby DOOO!!!! *hugs television like I just told him we're throwing it away and moving into a tent in the back yard and not just leaving for 30 minutes*

Lauren: NOOOO!!! DOOOO!!! (because she repeats everything Brenden says)

Me: *sigh* Dude, it's not that big of a deal. You can finish watching it when we get back.

Brenden: NOOOO!!! You're so MEAN!!! It's not FAIR!!!

Me: *deep breath* That's 1....

Brenden: NOOOO!!!! I don't like yooooou!!!

Me: That's 2.... *walks around grabbing keys, diaper bag, shoes, sunglasses to hide the fact that I just woke up and am not bothering with looking decent.*

Lauren: Milk! MILK! I gotta go potty!

Me: Lauren you do not have to go potty and you just finished your milk. You're fine. *shuts off all the lights, locks back door*

Lauren: POTTY!!!

Brenden: WAAAHHHH!!!

Me: That's 3, Brenden. Take a break.

Brenden: *folds arms, pouts, sits in timeout while glaring at me*

Me: Lauren lets get you in the car. Oh my gosh you did have to go potty. *changes dirty diaper while dodging kicks at my face*

Lauren: Ewww! Yuck! Baby?

Me; No, you can't have your baby. You'll get it dirty.

Lauren: *pouts, throws shoes at me*

Brenden: I'm up! I'm not crying anymore!

Me: I didn't say you could get up, yet. Back in time out while I get Lauren in the car.

Brenden: *more pouting*

~~~I run out to the car and realize that Tim did leave Lauren's carseat but didn't have time to strap it down. I deposit Lauren back in the house and get it situated.~~~

Me: Alrighty! Brenden, you can get up now and no more whining. Where is your sister?

Brenden: In your room.

Lauren: Book! BOOK!

Me: You want to take a book? Okay, how about this one? *Lauren's shakes her head* This one?

Lauren: NO!

Me: Alright I'm just picking out two books and we're getting in the car.

Lauren: BOOOOOK!!!

Brenden: I don't like these shoes.

Me: Then put on different ones. Where is your other shoe, Lauren?

Lauren: SHOE! No.

Me: Fine, no shoes for Lauren. Brenden, I do not care if you have shoes on or not, we're getting in the car.

~~~ Eventually, we got into the car. Lauren is still yelling about having to go potty and Brenden is unhappy at the book I picked out for him. I'm just happy that it only took 15 minutes instead of 20.~~~

*end scene*