As I sit here typing this post, my eyes are trying to close. The neurologist I visited about my migraines (Which are SO much better after seeing the chiropractor that he thought I was crazy to keep my appointment. We ended up talking about the Army and politics.) called what happens to me "sleep attacks" and that is the most accurate way I can explain them. I'll be doing something normal and then BAM...I have to sit down and if I'm not careful I start nodding off. I can start off a day feeling completely energized and ready to take on the world and within an hour I can barely force myself off of the couch.
In short, this SUCKS.
My first medication, Nuvigil (which sounds like a feminine product to me...eww), definitely made a difference, but it wasn't in a good way. Yes, I had more energy. So much energy that I could. not. stop. moving. It was terrible. It got to the point where I was having anxiety attacks and was so shaky that I had to bounce my legs for hours. Yep, that medicine was out.
The medicine I'm on now, Focalin, is primarily used to treat ADD and ADHD. This strikes me as funny because my brother was on Ritalin for years to treat his ADHD and when it would kick in you could tell because his body would slump and it was almost as if he was in a trance. It's supposed to have the opposite effect on me, which it has, but not with great results. I knew it was speeding up my heart rate and my blood pressure, but I didn't expect it speed up my metabolism. Sounds like a great side effect, huh? Not so much for my crazy body. I'm not losing weight, but I am metabolizing other medications more quickly. It's really bad when you're on Zoloft for anxiety and depression and one of your main symptoms is fatigue and weight gain, which have been fine for months, and now...awful.
(Side note: I'm not sure I have PPD but rather actual anxiety/depression. I don't think I'll ever be off of antidepressants, and I'm okay with that. When I'm on the right dose, I feel normal...which is amazing.)
It only took a week or so on the Focalin for the depression to kick back in, but I didn't recognize it at first. I thought it was a normal PMS type thing and boy was I wrong. When I continued to get worse, could not kick the weepy, unmotivated feelings, it became obvious that I'm not where I should be medication-wise. Off to the doctor!
Me: "I'm on doctor prescribed speed and I'm gaining weight. I think I'm the only person on the planet that has this ability. Also...help?"
Doctor: "Um...yeah. That's not right. Let's figure this out."
Up goes the dose of Zoloft, which I am now maxed out on. Not sure how this will go, but at least we're making changes and I won't be stuck in this awful hole. I hate switching medications so my fingers are crossed that this evens me out.
Until I'm where I should be, please forgive me if I lose track of time, fall asleep when I should be doing something important, or cry for no reason at all. I promise, I'm working on it.
How about some cute kids pictures to make up for it? Okay? Here ya go!