Since I had a ton of time just laying around doing nothing on Tuesday, I started thinking about how I would feel if they sent me home. I was so upset when we made our "trial run" with Brenden. Didn't they know that I was going to go into labor soon and they were going to feel silly for not keeping me there? (That joke was totally on me.) This time I actually expected to go home. I didn't make Tim take me, I didn't have my bag, I didn't call anyone to tell them I was going. I think that made a big difference in how I dealt with it.
The other difference this time is how little anxiety I actually feel about her arrival. Don't get me wrong, I'm ready to be done. My stomach hurts, my back hurts, the heartburn still stinks, and I'm still having problems with my heart racing and my breathing being difficult. Obviously I'm not looking forward to labor. I'm not a fan of pain! But what I'm not doing is stressing about when she's going to show up. Those last 3 weeks with Brenden, especially the last few days, I was crazy. I was practically shaking all day with anxiety and cried every night. I obsessed over every twinge, every pain. Now I know that Lauren will show up when she's going to show up, no matter what I do or how much I think about it. We're officially in April and, one way or another, she'll be born this month. I know that pregnancy does not last forever, which is something that was hard for me to grasp the first time around.