Last night we finished everything that I could think of that just needed to be done. (Read: the psycho pregnant lady made her husband help her finish a bunch of meaningless chores.) Our laundry is completely caught up. The batteries for the camera are charged. Tim cleaned out the litter boxes. His bag is packed. The kitchen is clean. We moved the bassinet to the appropriate place in our room. (Which happens to be on Tim's side of the bed...not sure how I won that argument.) My plan today is to take it easy, keep everything picked up, and try to make sure that Brenden doesn't have a completely terrible day.
Speaking of Brenden, he's still excited about the baby. We've tried to explain that we're going to to the hospital to have the baby and he gets to stay at home and have a "party" with Susan. (She's promising ice cream for breakfast. He's never going to want us to come home.) I've tried to plant the idea that the baby will cry because she can't talk yet and that's how she will tell us when she needs something. We told Brenden that if the baby cries he has to smile really big so that he can help her be happy again. We even had him practice his happy smile.
When I couldn't fall asleep immediately last night I tip-toed into Brenden's room and snuggled up to him. It was slightly scary to think about that being the last night he would be spending as an only child. I thought I would just lay there for a little while and then wander back to my mountain of pillows in my own bed. Then, he started talking and laughing in his sleep. I've heard him do it over the monitor, but it was much funnier in person. I waited around to see what else he would say and before I knew it it was 4:30 am and I was waking up to go to the bathroom, as usual. I guess toddler snores were the best lullaby for me last night.
One thing I did forget to do was thank my mom for helping me out so much this past weekend. With both Tim and my doctor out of town I was completely freaked out to be on my own. She cooked, she cleaned, she ran Brenden to the bathroom, she let me sleep in. It was fabulous. She made sure Tim had a hot meal on the table when he came home from his long weekend. She took Brenden to the park and out for ice cream. She taste tested for me when I was too scared to try a new recipe that I had made for Susan's baby shower. I was so spoiled and it was wonderful and exactly what I needed. So, thank you mom! I don't know what I would have done without you.
I had an "oh my gosh is this really happening" moment last night when I finally made it back to our room. It wasn't about labor, which I would have expected. It wasn't about things that I felt I still needed to finish. I took one look at my belly and realized, for the 100th time, that there is a real person in there. Someone with their own wants and needs and personality and that somehow I am this person's MOM. Yes, I realize that I'm already someone's mom. There are days when that still surprises me. The fact that I've been entrusted to help these little people learn and grow and that, ultimately, I'm responsible for whether or not they make it through the day in one piece really knocks me up side my head occasionally. And now I'm going to have TWO little people in the world relying on me?!? I just got worried that I'm not really worthy of that kind of responsibility.
Okay...freak out moment over. I'm going to try to spend the rest of my day thinking calming thoughts and not obsessing over the fact that our floor hasn't been scrubbed and the furniture hasn't been dusted. We'll see if I succeed!