If not today...

...then definitely tomorrow. I just keep repeating that to myself. At 7 pm tomorrow, no matter what Lauren really wants to do, she is going to start her journey into this world. However, if I have another night like last night I just may lose my mind before we get there.

I'm not sure when they started. I guess you could say I've been in "early labor" for weeks, but obviously the contractions I've had are not really doing much. (2 cm and 50% effaced seems to be what I stay at from 36 weeks until I go into "real" labor, whenever that may be.) Last night they just didn't stop. Of course, they didn't get closer together or stronger. They were just painful enough to annoy the crap out of me and keep me awake, but not strong enough to expect anything from. I even got up and took a shower at 1:45 am to see if it could help me relax.

By 4 am I was DONE. I finally woke Tim up and begged him to help me, although I have no idea what I thought he could do. All I knew was that I was tired, sick of the pain and the pressure, and about to cry. Eventually, I did just that...I bawled. What else could I do? It wasn't anyone's fault that I was so uncomfortable. I could blame Lauren, but that's not fair. She's here because we so very much wanted her to be and the pain of labor just comes with that. I could blame Tim for "putting me in this position" but um...I was there, too.

Eventually, with Tim rubbing my back, I fell asleep. I think I ended up getting about 1 1/2 hours of sleep, which is not exactly the best plan the day before you go in to the hospital to be induced. Thankfully, Brenden has been in a decent mood today so I haven't had any major battles to fight, like what to eat for breakfast or trying to go outside on his own.

Nap time just cannot come soon enough for me. Brenden may disagree.